I have vowed to chase the truth of love until it tells the world it is. This is the seventh day of the Sesshin. And you came already too far, so you cannot, you know, give up. So only way is to stay here. And I feel I had a very good crap.

[01:01]

You may feel you are not yet ripened, but even though you are still ripened, but if you stay in our storehouse anyway, it will be good apples, crazy street apples, ready to be served. So I have nothing to worry, and I don't think you have any more worry about your practice. Perhaps some of you started Sesshin

[02:10]

because you have too many things to serve. Or some of you must have thought if you come and sit here, maybe your problem will be solved. But, you know, the problem, whatever problem it may be, something which is given to you could be solved anyway. Because Buddha will not give you anything any more than you can serve and you need. Whatever it is, whatever problem it may be,

[03:12]

the problem you have is just enough problems for you. So I think you should trust him, you know. Just enough, not too much. And, you know, if it is not too much, Buddha is ready to give you some more problems. Just to survive, you know. Just to appreciate problems, Buddha is always giving you something. Because if you have nothing to cope with, you know, it may be a terrible life. As if you are, you know, it is like a problem without life is

[04:18]

to sit in this center for seven days without doing anything. But, you know, I think you have had many problems to cope with in this center, or maybe more problems than you had in the city. You think it is easy to solve problems in zendo rather than in the city, but actually it is not so. You will find out more problems,

[05:20]

which you have had. But why you didn't feel so is you are fooled by something, and because of that you couldn't find out the problems you had. And if you do not know what kind of problem you have, the result will be terrible, you know. Unexpected problems will appear, you know. But it is not something which you didn't have. Nothing will happen. No problem will happen if you do not have,

[06:27]

you know, originally if you do not have problems. Because you had problems, only the result came out when you did not expect. So it is better to find out problems earlier, as soon as possible. But in our practice there is no need. You don't have to worry what will happen to us,

[07:27]

because Buddha will give you just enough problems. I think that is, you know, to sit, we sort of students sit, you know, facing to the wall. In other words, facing to Buddha with your back face, front face and back face, I don't know how to say, how to express it, you know. You sit, you know, like this, Buddha is there. And trusting him, you know, if you make some mistake, Buddha may say,

[08:36]

turn over. It means that you are involved in some dualistic problem, you know. You have some problem in sense of duality, you know. So Buddha says, you know, turn over. And you should listen to him, you know. But usually, if you trust him completely, you know, there is no need to face to Buddha. This is the attitude of complete trust, you know. Your enemies or some problems, you know, will come from the back, not from the front.

[09:42]

So to expose your back to the Buddha means to express the complete trust with Buddha. And even though you have problem, which you don't need, which you feel you don't need, or too much, which you feel too much problems, but trusting him, you should sit with problems. And at the same time, you should be ready to refuse it,

[10:45]

if it is too much. But this will not be necessary, you know. There will not be no need to refuse it. Because more and more, the problems you think problem, will change into something you need. So you know that if I refuse problem, I may regret. So I must keep, anyway I must keep this. Because I am not so sure if this is real problem, or Buddha's help, you know. Maybe better to keep it, and use it in this way, you know. Okay. Anyway, it will, we will understand

[11:47]

what Buddha gave us. And Buddha may say, if you really don't need it, anytime I will accept it, give it back to me. But if Buddha says so, you may think, you know, or maybe better to keep it. There may be some meaning, you know, in this problem. Better to keep it. And you should sit. If you sit in this way, you will find various problems as a kind of valuable treasure,

[12:52]

which is indispensable for you. And especially indispensable for Zen students. So before you sit, before you accept yourself as you are, and before you, so, before you accept the problem you have, your position, you cannot sit in its true sense. But if you fix your mind, trusting him, and sit, then in it there is no confusion

[14:00]

or problems anymore. What you should do is to wait and be patient enough. And wait until the problem will make some sense to you. Until you can appreciate your being here and your being, your position, whatever it is. That is how you practice Zazen. So if you only practice Zazen,

[15:04]

there is no need to expect Buddha to help you. Buddha is always helping you. But usually what we are doing is refusing Buddha's offer. For instance, if you, you know, ask help, ask some special help from a special person, you know, it means that you are refusing, you know, Buddha's offering and

[16:11]

asking for some other things which is not here yet. So you are refusing him. You are refusing what you have already and you are refusing to accept treasures you have. You are like a pig, you know. When I was young, as my father was very poor, he raised many pigs. And if you give pigs a bucket of food, you know, if you are not there, he will eat it. As long as you are there, he will not eat it, expecting me to give more food.

[17:17]

So you must be very careful. And if you put, you know, if you move, he will kick out the food from the bucket. I think that is what you are doing, you know. Just to cause more problems for you, you seek for something. But there is no need for you to seek for anything. You have plenty. And you have just enough problems. This is a mysterious thing, you know, the mystery of life. We have just enough problems, not too much or not too little. So there is no need to ask something. For anybody. There is no need to ask anyone's help.

[18:26]

If you are patient enough, if you are strong enough to accept it. But when you are not strong enough to accept the problem, or strong enough to sit calmly and peacefully, trusting Buddha. Yes, I said trusting Buddha. I already gave you the answer. The only way may be to trust Buddha, you know, to trust your being. Why you are here? How you are here? You know. Because you are helped. And because the way you are helped is perfect. You exist here.

[19:28]

If it is too much, you will die. If it is too little, you will die. You are, you know, receiving something, you know, as much as you need, just as much as you need. So the only way is, you know, to trust him, or to trust your being here. That is, you know, the spirit of Zen. Zen master. You may think Zen master is, all the Zen master is very tough. He looks like very tough, you know, when you need him to be tough. But, you know, he is not tough, so tough.

[20:31]

He is just tough enough for you. That's all. Actually, you don't need your master. If you, really, if you know how to practice Zen. It is already, you know, the last day. Perhaps, if you have this kind of understanding, I think if you have problem still, you know, if you are blue apple yet,

[21:32]

blue or green apple, not blue. Not blue. After being red, you will be blue. Not too late. Maybe you will be green. Green. Don't stay green. If you feel you are still green, but, you know, even though you feel you are still green, you want, maybe you want to continue this session more, I think. I am so sure about it.

[22:36]

Last day will be the day to to have, to make our practice meaningful, you know. How to make our practice meaningful will be will be our schedule. So I want you just to sit, you know, and to be ready to go to market or to be ready to be served for Zen students. That is all what I wanted to say.

[23:52]

This morning. So let's, you know, sit more and to have a full appreciation of our practice. Thank you.

[24:23]

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