I vow to chase the truth that defiles the truth. I think you are facing an actual problem in your Dazen practice. The worst one may be the pain of your legs. Yes, maybe. It is some, not secret, but it is some certain way

[01:18]

to sit in pain. Because it is so direct that you have no time to... to think of some way, you know. Before you think, it comes and you are involved in the pain. But that is so-called, you know, that you are involved in the pain immediately.

[02:32]

It means that your way, your way of life, or your attitude towards your life is not well trained. For instance, if you, I think some of you must have this kind of experience. If you are going to fall, for instance, from the tree to the ground,

[03:35]

the moment you leave the branch, you lose your function of the body. But if you don't, you know, there is a pretty long time before you reach to the ground. And there may be some branch, you know, so you can catch the branch. You can do something, but because you lose the function of your body, you know, before you reach to the ground, you may lose your conscience.

[04:47]

But in Zazen practice, first problem you face will be the pain. Even for Japanese people who are sitting always on the floor, they have this problem of pain. But how you endure the pain is, as I always say, to have, not to lose your power right here. And free your legs, you know, from pain, having more strength here.

[06:11]

And this is, this kind of way, this way will be applied for various problems you have. For instance, when you are about to be angry, you know, you shouldn't be involved in the anger immediately. You have time, you must have time before you become angry. So we say, count, ten before you are angry. Count, while you are counting, one, two, three, four. My cough is, you know, same thing.

[07:24]

You know, if I have some strength here, I don't cough, even though I cough not so bad. But when I laugh, or when I am excited, in other words, when I have no preparation in my tummy, I immediately cough. And my doctor said, nothing wrong with your, you know, throat. Maybe that is some, you know, nervous cough.

[08:36]

So I was very ashamed of being so nervous, you know, as a Zen master. So I decided to conquer the cough. Before I didn't bother so much. But after the doctor said, nothing wrong with your throat. If you cough, let your wife collect ten dimes, ten cents each time. He said so. So I am trying, you know, to have always some power here. But when it comes, you know, it comes so suddenly, so I have no time to prepare for it.

[09:43]

My cough is a good practice for me. That you have some problem or difficulty in your practice is, I think, a very good thing. It is much easier to practice Zazen without any problem. If you have some problem, you have some excuse to work on it instead of Shikantaza. Shikantaza is actually not so easy. If you are supposed to practice Shikantaza, maybe it is pretty difficult thing.

[11:08]

It is difficult to continue it. For a while you can do it, you know, five minutes, ten minutes, you may be able to do it. But without cessation, to continue Shikantaza is pretty difficult. We say selflessness. Selflessness is to say, you know, just to explain what is selflessness is not so difficult.

[12:16]

But actually what it means is, you know, not something to explain, but something to actually practice it or attain it. The stage you must attain. Although there is no such thing as self, we have no self. Originally we have no self. But we feel as if we have self. And we see as if everything has its own self nature. But there is no such thing as self nature. You may say water has its own nature, and iron has its own nature.

[13:29]

But that nature is conditioned by many factors. That is why water is flowing, iron is hot. So, as Buddha said, all constituent objects have no self, self nature. The universal nature takes some particular way of function under some condition. That's all.

[14:30]

So, there is no such thing as self nature. But although there is no self nature, there are some rules. The fundamental rule is the rule of causality. If there is a cause and there is an effect, that is the immutable truth. And that is maybe the only truth we can figure out.

[15:35]

The rest of the truth is, there is no special truth. To explain in this way is not difficult. And whatever you feel about it, even though you say there is self nature, but there is no self nature. That is very true. Excuse me, can you hear me? So, there are two ways of understanding about self nature.

[16:45]

Self nature which exists and no self nature as the ultimate truth. And no self nature as a goal of practice. For human beings, unless we strive for, unless we make a great effort, it is difficult to realize the self nature, no self nature. Even though there is no such thing as self nature. For us, I don't know why, it is necessary to practice and to attain no self nature.

[17:56]

For us it is something to attain. That is why we practice Zazen, you know. By Zazen, we can realize, or realization of no self nature will appear, will take place. Without Zazen, even though you know that we have no self nature, it doesn't work.

[19:00]

That is why we practice Zazen. And intellectual explanation of no self nature is to give you some confidence in our practice. To point out the possibility of attaining no self nature. Or even though you don't attain it perfectly, you know. If you, you will find out, you will have some confidence in your practice. That is, we have teaching for, we have various explanations for Zazen practice.

[20:22]

And you may ask then, After we realize, or realization of selflessness happens to you, what will be your way of life? If you, you know, think something, you know, after attaining no self nature, you will have some, some wonderful, you know, feeling, or some special power, that is also mistake.

[21:48]

Nothing will happen. If nothing happens, why you make such an effort with pain? Here, you know, There is an interesting story, here is some interesting thing. Famous koan, do you know the koan of Hyakujo? Wild fox and Hyakujo.

[22:50]

Hyakujo was a famous Zen master, as you know, who established special precepts for Zen monks. Before Hyakujo, Zen monks were practicing at some other temple, or some temple which belongs to mostly precepts school. Precepts master were lead. There they were practicing Zazen.

[23:57]

As you have been practicing Zazen at Sokoji. Because they have, they haven't their own temple. And they observed mostly Indian precepts. But Hyakujo established monastery, and he set up monastic rules, like we have precepts, like Buddha set up precepts. And he, one day, every day he was giving lecture.

[25:01]

And one old man always came and listened to the lecture. But one day, he didn't leave after lecture. So Hyakujo asked him, why don't you go back to your room? And the old man said, I, in many hundreds of years, before you come to this temple,

[26:06]

I was a resident priest of this temple. And I, when I was asked, is it possible to be free from the truth of causality? If you do something good, you will have good result. If you do something bad, you will have bad result. This is rules of causality in morality. And there must be various truths, or theory. And you may say this is truth of karma.

[27:15]

Is it possible to be free from karma, or to be free from the truth of causality? Someone asked him, and he said, yes, it is possible. And that answer was not proper. So, I reincarnated in fox. And I reincarnated fox again and again, about 500 times, maybe. And I cannot now. I cannot be, I cannot get free from karma.

[28:24]

Because I did, I said something wrong. And the old man asked, and the fox actually, in disguise, a fox asked, what will be the right answer? And the old man said, the right answer will be, you will not, you cannot be free from karma. That will be the right answer. And at that time, the fox attained enlightenment. And next day, he didn't, the old man didn't come to the lecture.

[29:35]

And Hyakujo said, we will have funeral. And, you know, students amazed, who died? At that time, Buddhists didn't take funeral service for someone else. They took funeral service for their students only, or teachers only. When no one died, you know, why do we have funeral? But Hyakujo said, go back, go to the mountain, back of the temple. And they found dead fox in the mountain.

[30:37]

And they had big funeral for him. And this is the story. And since then, we have, we made it as one of the many koans. To be free from karma is one. And not to ignore karma, that is, you know, next two. We have two. But what do we mean by we not ignore the truth or truth of causality? And, you know, to be free from karma,

[31:52]

without ignoring karma, and to get free from karma. What will be the way? After you attain enlightenment, your way is still, you know, you should follow the truth of karma, or truth of causality. You cannot ignore the truth. But you should not be caught by it. The way is, just I wear such a troublesome robe. This is karma. Because of karma, I have to wear long-sleeved koromo like this.

[33:01]

And without taking off the koromo, you know, to have freedom from koromo is the way. Do you understand? You know, sometimes to use koromo to hide something underneath when it is necessary. To use karma, you know, to help others, or to enjoy the karma without ignoring it. To enjoy our life, complicated life, difficult life, without ignoring it, and without being caught by it,

[34:09]

without suffering from it. That is actually what will happen to us after you practice Zazen. Actually, whether you attain enlightenment or not, if you continue this practice, naturally you will have that kind of quality. It is a matter of just a slight, subtle feeling. Like, you know, the sound box.

[35:15]

There is a slight difference between my own voice and the voice you hear through this box. But this slight difference makes a big difference. It is, you know... You think, you say, I practice Zazen for two or three years, but I haven't made any progress, you may say. But actually, you know, the feeling you give by your conduct, by your words, will be quite different.

[36:23]

It is like to feel something, you know. This is wood, this is cross, you know. And this is enamel, and this is a kind of lacquer. Looks like same, but if you feel it, feeling is quite different. And feeling you have from it, when the feeling you have from it is different, you feel as if this is something else, you know. This is quite different from that. That kind of difference, subtle difference, but a big difference in our actual life.

[37:37]

Physically, it is a very small difference. But spiritually, our feeling you have from it is quite different. And we, you know, when we talk about our practice, we... our merit of practice, or value of practice, we tend to say, we tentatively talk about the value in terms of good feeling or bad feeling.

[38:39]

If you help others, or not. If you help others, or don't help others. Or give some, bother someone. We say non-discrimination, you know, non-discrimination. But when we try to help others, you know, we should say good and bad. Or else we cannot help others, good feeling or bad feeling.

[39:46]

But originally there is no such thing, good and bad. But when people feel something is good and some other thing is bad, we should also... we should also involve in that kind of idea of good and bad. Even though we don't actually feel as they feel, but the feeling is not exactly the same. But... But we must...

[41:06]

give. We must be able to express... our sympathy by some words in terms of good and bad. That is also actually... two contradictory attitudes. One is non-attachment. The other is attachment, looks like attachment. But not actual attachment, but it looks like discrimination, looks like attachment.

[42:13]

But there is a slight difference. If you do not have complete calmness of your mind, you know, ah, you cannot tell the difference. You see everything is nearly the same, exactly the same. You cannot tell the difference of the quality. One may be grass and one may be jewel. But you think all jewels are all grass. So if you actually practice zazen with pain,

[43:17]

you will know what is pain in its true sense. Because if you sit in calmness of your mind in pain, you will know what is pain in its true sense, but which you didn't know in your everyday life. So when you have time, you know, to wait. When you are angry, you will know what is angry exactly. So you will not make any mistake. You are so subtle in handling your words. Even though you are angry, you have time to think. So it is necessary for us to have complete calmness, always.

[44:36]

And we should be able to go back to the complete calmness, even though sometimes you are angry or excited. You should be able to go back to the calmness of your mind. Over and over, if you train yourself in this way, you will have complete freedom from the karma. So, you know, not to fall into karma, not to be caught by karma, and not to ignore the karma. And the third stage will be to have complete freedom from karma.

[45:48]

And those things should not be different, as I explained, as we wear robes. It does not mean to take off, to be free from karma. It does not mean to take off all my troublesome robes. Now I am free. This is not the complete freedom we need. Do you understand? This kind of stage is the stage Buddhists are aiming at. So under the difficult situation, without escaping from it,

[46:57]

we should have freedom from the circumstances. Adversity or easy circumstances. If there is, you know, no pain in your legs, it is rather difficult to make progress. But if you have some problem, I think you will make progress easier. It is true with calligraphy or sumi painting. When you start to feel some difficulty, you know,

[48:09]

you start to make progress. When it is easy, you know, you don't make much progress. When you are wealthy and happy with money and with family and with everything, you don't make any progress. After you lose, you have lost everything, you know. Without money, without family, without house, with baking bowl, then you will start to make some progress. That is why we go forward.

[49:16]

Go for trip. Trip of takuhatsu. But nowadays, you know, we have big temple like this. Once in a while we go out with baking bowl, so it isn't so difficult. But real takuhatsu should be done without anything. But after you attain complete liberation from this world, without escaping from it, you will have all the money people have. So there is no problem. If, you know, every one of us, or no,

[50:21]

one out of ten persons have this kind of freedom, we will have no war, no social problem, we will be all happy. With this kind of understanding of practice, we, you know, practice zazen. So, we must trust people, you know. And we must trust Buddha,

[51:28]

and you must trust yourself. And you should be completely give yourself to practice, completely involved in practice, forgetting everything, pain or various confusion. Thank you very much.

[52:06]

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