Do you have some? Did you understand what I'm saying? No? That was good. If you say understand, you understood maybe. You have understood something else. That is your own understanding. Don't ask questions about nothingness. You must surrender anyway if you ask questions about nothingness. Maybe I have to surrender too. Some other questions? You said it's necessary to have doubts.

[01:06]

Is it necessary also to have faith to be able to try out? Yeah, yeah. So sometimes you need faith and sometimes you need doubt? Yes. But doubt, big doubt, should follow, you know, the confidence to try out. But actually we are trying out. Even though we die, we are still trying in some way. Isn't that true? Even though we have no physical body, we are still trying. The physical body ceases to act quite easily.

[02:08]

But true, my true nature cannot cease to act. It is ongoing. Even though there is no more earth, still something is going on, endlessly. If you're discouraged by something which may happen to us, it is lack of understanding of our true nature. If you know really what we are, we cannot discourage. Even though your small mind may be discouraged, but your big mind is still going.

[03:15]

It's OK. Some more questions? Without? Without doubt? Yeah, if possible, that is better. It is... if that is possible, if you have some... if you're on the... on the track, you know, maybe you can go without doubt. That is why we have various, you know, practice.

[04:21]

So that you can go on and on without much difficulty. We have, you know, various rules and rituals. If you're down and you doubt, how do you know that you're on the track? If you're doubting all the time. How do you know for sure you'll win the right thing? It is not necessary to be sure Anyway, you will not be lost. That is very true, you know.

[05:24]

You think you will be lost. When you think you will be lost, then you have something wrong with you. You may have a very small mind. Some people are called schizophrenic. What happens to them? They go off and something happens to them? What is it? So, I think if our society is supported by this kind of big mind and spirit, we will not have so many mentally disturbed people. Why they feel they are afraid of being lost is they are not fully supported by big mind.

[06:33]

They are always confronting with his own small mind and some others' small mind, like his parents or his brother or sister, his neighbors. They are all involved in small mind. So he has to confront with small mind always. He will be always discouraged. His mind cannot be so broad and big. And when he has a big mind, he feels as if he was lost, you know. Something wrong with himself, with him. When... because everyone has a small mind, you know.

[07:38]

When everyone has a small mind, and even though he has a big mind, he feels as if he was lost. That is, you know, the trouble. Trouble of the society who has not supported with this kind of big mind. What's the sense in it? Struggle? Yeah, what's the sense in all this, having small mind, having weaknesses and desires? Why? Reason why it's, you know, not to... Actually, we do not have small mind, so-called small mind, to suffer. But to support ourselves, we have small mind.

[08:41]

to know what actually we are doing, inch by inch. That is small mind, if you call it small mind. But if it doesn't cease to act, going on and on, that is actually big mind. So if you lose the background of the small mind, which is big mind, then small mind end up in small mind for you. It is actually going, but you don't feel so. And you are always afraid of something will happen to you. That is fear. That is why we suffer. I know, but my question is why was all this created in the first place? Yeah, that is... Why we are created in that way.

[09:50]

It is something which is difficult to answer. But actually, it is, you know, we are... The purpose of Buddhism is not to answer that kind of a question like Christianity. Who created it? Your question is something like, who is responsible for it? But no one is responsible for that.

[10:51]

If you say someone should be responsible for that, you should be responsible for that. Because you change your mind a little bit. If you have a little bit right understanding, you will be free from that kind of problem, and you can even enjoy the problem. So, actually, you are creating, and you are responsible. But we are not talking about food's responsibility, it is. But actually things is going in that way. That is nature of Buddhism. That is the nature of Buddha's teaching. He didn't say anything definitely.

[11:55]

And he did not pick up any special codes It is impossible to answer when this universe started, or when we are going, and what is the limit of the universe. Is that possible? Not possible. This is important point also. If there is some limit, you know, or if we think there is some limit, it is not absolute anymore. Because there is no limit in universe and things started beginningless beginning and going to endless end.

[12:57]

That is why, you know, we can believe in our destiny. If there is, you know, beginning and end, like Christian teaching, you can believe in God, but you cannot believe in each one of us. We can believe in our destiny. That is very important point. And if Buddha have answer to that question, he is not Buddha anymore. He is not Buddha. Because he didn't. He was great because he didn't answer that kind of question.

[14:04]

that we don't know anything about it is a very important point that we cannot answer for this. It's very important. When you say, this is very important, it is not important anymore. You can compare to some other thing, and you can say which is important, then this is not absolutely important. You cannot depend on that kind of thing which has some limit, which has some beginning and which has some end. Because, you know, Emptiness, which has no limit and no start, beginning.

[15:13]

We can believe in it. Isn't that so? This is very important. I'm not fooling you. Okay? If you really understand this, tears will come out. If you really feel happy to be a Buddhist, Just now, this is question and answer.

[16:19]

You don't have this kind of feeling. But if you struggle bad enough, you will feel how important point this is. Why? How you can struggle with this struggle is you are supported by something. Something you don't know. But as we are human beings, there must be that kind of feeling. You must live in such city or village or community. That is, I think, very important. So, whatever community it may be,

[17:30]

It is necessary to have community to which have this kind of spiritual support. That is why I respect Trungpa Rinpoche That is the point, you know. He is supporting us. You may criticize him because he drinks like I drink water. That is minor problem. He trusts you completely. He knows If he is always supporting you in its true sense, you will not criticize him, whatever he does.

[18:39]

And he doesn't mind whatever you say. It is not a point, you know. This kind of spirit is necessary for a human being. without clinging to some special religion or form of practice. You have ten minutes more. You have ten minutes more. Okay? Some more questions? Yes, change of pace.

[19:42]

Where do you carry that? Yes? When you find it difficult to understand me, I'll back you. Okay, I'll... It's much better not to have this. I'm very short-tempered, so I may rely on this too much, you know.

[20:54]

When I cannot express myself, If I haven't this, I must try hard to make verbal communication. So it may help without this, but as I'm pretty old, I must depend on this a little bit. Has anyone ever had tea with it? Don't ask me. I ashamed of myself. I know by the way I feel when I come to Zen Center that it's

[22:00]

It's very important to be with people who are practicing love and practicing eating silently. But I have to spend a lot of time away from Zen center and with people who listen to music, who never think that there's anything else but a small mind. And while I keep trying to remind myself that I'm a Buddhist, I feel very different from them, and it causes me a lot of trouble. It's difficult for me to be myself outside of the sun, outside of the Buddhist community. But then you mean that, you know, what you mean is if you are always in the city without knowing Zen Center or some religious group, you know, then you think you will feel good?

[23:16]

Your life will be good? I think. What I'm saying is If you don't know Zen Center, if you live in the city without knowing Zen Center or religious group, then do you think you will be happy? No, I agree with that sense. But how do I... But there's a lot to do, isn't there? Yes. I can't spend all of my time. But that is why we are here and you come here. Even though you have difficulties, it is good to come here.

[24:19]

And you shouldn't be so impatient. It takes time. We started Zen Center quite recently, not so long time ago. And it is quite natural for us to have various problems. Even though we have problems, The problem we have is very important. Problems for human beings. That is why you come here. I don't think we are... I can't help you. I can't help you so much. As much as I can, I shall be with you.

[25:25]

That's all. And I shall be very glad if you carry on this kind of work. That's all. Don't think you can... because you come here, you can sort of, you will have very good, you know, everyday life. Whether you have good everyday life or not is out of question. We should not be concerned about it too much, so much, but we should know What is right and what kind of life we must have.

[26:28]

That is more important thing for us to know. That much confidence we must have, even though we cannot help people so well. I'm sorry I cannot help you, but I can help you to have big confidence in your way of life. And if you have confidence in your life, you will have... the rest of difficulties you may have is not so... big problem for you. Thank you very much.

[27:33]

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